im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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