its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
