i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
