it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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