Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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