matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
