I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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