they need to just BURY HIM!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
