well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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