this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
