We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
