my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
