Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
