what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
