i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
