Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
