Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
