Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I party with great urgency now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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