dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
