I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who died my cat blue again?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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