I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize