i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
