and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
