Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
