at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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