with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want her autograph on my taint
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
