The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
