I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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