I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
