hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
