So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
