was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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