I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize