Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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