think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
