Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need help removing her.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
