There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
