i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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