Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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