woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
