Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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