walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize