I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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