She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
