i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
