I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
