at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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