Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
