I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
