I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
