Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got her a Nickelback box set.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize