ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize