I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
