whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
