Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
