the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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