ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
