so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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