even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
