Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
