His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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