Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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