We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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